Mindspring Athletics uses the latest high-performance activewear technology to design comfortable, breathable polo shirts for the deskbound corporate employee, because it’s not just elite athletes who require moisture-wicking fabrics to keep their bodies cool and sweat-free. You’re slaying deliverables. You’re crushing your inbox. You’re enjoying a slice of cheese pizza sitting alone by the window in the back of the conference room during your boss’s birthday lunch. Twenty of your colleagues make small talk while you look at the floor. Jen can’t get the photo slideshow to work, and she asks if she can borrow your laptop. Without thinking it through, you say sure. She walks to your desk and brings your computer back and plugs it into the projector, and a big bead of sweat drips from your armpit directly into the Mindspring Ultra-Stretch fabric, which pulls the moisture away from your skin to keep you cool. She opens Google Chrome in front of everyone, and thank god you didn’t leave anything up there. But you know danger lies ahead. More sweat pools on your chest and the Mindspring Four-Way Fibers rally to keep you dry. Jen begins typing in the URL bar and Mindspring’s patented True-Fit Polymers shift into high gear, pulling the sweat off your lower back as your recent searches fill the entire wall in front of your colleagues: “How to make friends at work,” “Small talk topics for work parties,” “Coworkers decline invites for after-work events,” and “how to tell if coworkers don’t like me.” Jen quickly clicks X to clear the recent searches and pulls up the slideshow. No one acknowledges what they saw. No one speaks to you for the rest of the party. Sweat drips from your shoulders, rolls off your stomach, as your face turns red and you consider your prospects for a new job. You wonder if you can break open this locked thirty-second floor window and fall out of it. As you press your wet forehead into the glass and pray it will crack, your Mindspring Athletics moisture-wicking polo goes into OT to keep you looking dry and feeling fresh.