We are proud to announce the winner of the 50th annual Pillsbury Bake-Off® Contest: Ken Everett of Minneapolis with his Fudgy Peanut-Butter Delight Cookies.
1/4 cup dry roasted peanuts, finely chopped
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1,500 rolls (16.5 oz) refrigerated Pillsbury™ Peanut Butter Cookie Dough, well chilled
Discard 1,499 rolls of refrigerated Pillsbury™ Peanut Butter Cookie Dough, for which you paid full-price and purchased at several different grocery stores to create the illusion of incredible demand.
Heat oven to 375°F. In small bowl, mix chopped peanuts, granulated sugar, cinnamon, and cocoa powder; set aside. Call the grocery stores you purchased the cookie dough from and ask if they have any in stock. When they say they’re sold out, demand they place a huge order for more.
In another small bowl, stir peanut butter and powdered sugar until completely blended. Shape mixture into 24 (1-inch) balls. Log onto your electronic brokerage account, such as E-Trade, and purchase 2,000 shares of General Mills, Pillsbury’s parent company, with a bid price substantially higher than the current market rate.
Cut roll of cookie dough into 12 slices. Cut each slice in half crosswise to make 24 pieces; flatten slightly. Shape 1 cookie dough piece around 1 peanut butter ball, covering completely. Repeat with remaining dough and balls. Point your browser to https://www.nestle.com/jobs and apply for a management position with Nestlé, General Mills’s top rival in the packaged food space.
Roll each covered ball in peanut mixture; gently pat mixture completely onto balls. On ungreased large cookie sheets, place balls 2 inches apart. Spray bottom of drinking glass with cooking spray; press into remaining peanut mixture. Flatten each ball to 1/2-inch thickness with bottom of glass. Sprinkle any remaining peanut mixture evenly on tops of cookies; gently press into dough. Accept a position as vice president of research and development at Nestlé and move to Switzerland to work on-site at the company’s headquarters.
Bake 7 to 12 minutes or until edges are golden brown. Cool 1 minute; remove from cookie sheets to cooling rack. Find an unmarked envelope on your desk and plug the drive into your computer. A program will install itself, which will automatically upload all files from the Nestlé shared drives to an anonymous cloud server hidden on the Pillsbury network. Continue working for many decades while the program secretly shares all documents with the Pillsbury team.
Enjoy the cookies with a glass of milk.